Complete Romance

That movie line ''You complete me'' sounds so very romantic. We all like the idea of someone who feels like they can't live without us.

When you think about it a little more, wouldn't it be even more romantic to be with someone who chooses to be with us? Isn't it better to have that person love you without the ties of slavery? The most romantic thing in the world, to me, is that person choosing to be with me over everyone else just because I'm me.

It takes two whole people to make a healthy romantic relationship. It doesn't work properly otherwise. In this instance, two halves DO NOT make a whole; it just makes two halves. You cannot expect to find someone to complete you. You must complete yourself. You can then find that someone who will complete the relationship.

The other person can't make up the deficiencies in you. It is not his (or her) job, and it is not what you should expect from someone you love. No matter how much in love two people are (or think they are), they are still two separate people! If you truly love someone, you respect and adore them as an individual, not as an extension of yourself.

Being a whole person doesn't mean have someone else to complete you. Being a whole person means finding your happiness in yourself. You can never be truly happy if that happiness is dependent on another person. You will always end up being disappointed, and it will be your own fault.

True happiness is a choice we each make for ourselves. It is something we can share willingly with others in relationships, romantic and otherwise. It is not something we can take by force from another person. Essentially, that is what we are trying to do when we are using someone else to complete ourselves.

When two whole people are in any kind of relationship, the love for the other individual allows them to grow and change without damaging the bond they share.

Isn't that romantic? *sigh*

Do What You Love

Do what you love. I think everyone has heard that bit of advice. How many people actually get to do what they love for a living? Not enough, I can tell you that. How many people get to do what they love the rest of the time? That should be everybody.


Why is that? Maybe we don't even know what we love. There are so many optons out there, but we limit ourselves. Maybe we don't have the education to do this or that. That kind of thing isn't available in my area. People won't understand why I want to do this. Everyone will laugh at me. People will think I'm silly or stupid.


What does it matter? In the overall scheme of things, does it really matter what other people think? No. What they think is not going to make you happy. Doing what others tell you to do is not what will satisfy you. Only following your own heart will give you the happiness you deserve. (And yes, you DO deserve it!)


So, now we are aware of what does NOT make us happy. How do we know what does make us happy? There's no trick to this; its not hard at all.

• Ask yourself, "What do I love?"
• Pay attention to your smile. What are you doing when it happens the most?
• What do you wish you were doing when you are doing what you have to?
• What is important to you? What talents do you have that can help you along the way?
• Maybe when you are sitting in a meeting, your heart is hiking. Your daily commute is spent dreaming up computer programs. When you are supposed to be doing paperwork, you are running an auction house in your mind. 

I'm not suggesting that anyone needs to quit their job (at least not right this second). I'm saying that knowing what you love to do is important for happiness. Whatever it is that makes you happy, you have the option to pursue it.


It could be that taking up a hobby that you truly love will be enough. Having that to look forward to could help you appreciate and enjoy the rest of your life. 

We shouldn't live our lives doing every little thing that strikes our fancy; that's just irresponsible. It will also not make us happy. What we should do, however, is live our lives APPRECIATING every little thing that strikes our fancy. And every big thing. And every person. And every everything!


Maybe you do want to change your job or career. If you love it and hold onto that dream, it will happen. The choices are there, but you don't see them when you are not aware that you even want them. Are you already doing what you love? Could it be that you are and you don't even know it? Think about that, too.
I will leave you with this simple advice:


Appreciate what you have. Find what you love. Enjoy everything.