Don't Punish Yourself

Don't punish yourself. You might think I am talking about the subconscious desire to sabotage ourselves, and that is something that a lot of us do. What I am referring to is the times you think you are hurting someone else with your thoughts, words, and deeds.

When someone does something that makes you angry or hurts your feelings what do you do? Do you think angry thoughts? Do you say mean things about that person? Do you hide the sugar and creamer in the break-room so they can't have any? Does any of this honestly make you feel better? Or does it just add fuel to your negative feeling?

The small amount of “punishment” we so freely dole out does more harm to ourselves than to anyone else. Being angry at that person doesn't really hurt them. After a while they simply accept that someone is mad, and move on. Whereas, the angry person is stewing in bitter resentment. That anger will act like an acid, eating away at a person's emotional health.

If you are upset and are angry at someone or just angry in general, don't act out on it. The only one who truly gets punished is YOU. Even if you are making someone else feel bad for a moment, it is nothing compared to the emotional flogging you are going through. Add to that the collateral damage of others who see and experience your behavior. This will cause other people to see only someone who is:

       ~ Constantly complaining

       ~  Petty

       ~ Hostile

       ~ Obstinate

       ~ Rude & inconsiderate

       ~ Catty

       ~ Bad-tempered

       ~ Unpleasant

       ~ Irrational

       ~ Antagonistic

Who would want to be around a grouchy, crabby, angry person? Do you think they are going to sympathize with the person who is stomping and/or throwing things, or verbally abusing someone? When we act in this manner, nobody cares to see both sides. Humans instinctively sympathize with the underdog; more often than not, no one will even listen to what you are trying to say. All that will be heard is anger and resentment.

Let's say that someone is really a mean, ill-tempered person. Now, this person spends a lot of time trying to make others feel bad. When they attack you, your anger and upset feeling is exactly what they are after. Not only are you rewarding the meanie with control of your life, you are adding a huge bonus by continuing to do their work for them. Bad feelings don't get better by adding more bad feeling to them.

There is a great way to handle these problems, without punishing yourself. Be happy! Don't allow them the control over your emotions and feelings. Don't continue to punish yourself. Let go of the petty anger and grudges. This is exactly what the meanie doesn't want. If you don't feel happy, fake it! This way you will trick yourself into actually feeling better.

When you don't get upset and stressed out by the actions of others, you are a much more pleasant person. This will make others want to be around you. They will not want to be around the spiteful members of your community. In this manner, you are not punishing yourself and the mean-spirited person (or people) are punishing only themselves.

All you have to do is BE HAPPY!

Gratitude

Gratitude is the number one factor in happiness. If a person runs around feeling ungrateful, thinking about how much and what they don't have..............*sigh*  That doesn't make for a joyful existence now, does it? I don't think so either. 

If, on the other hand, you spent more time appreciating what you already have you would be genuinely happy. (I know it works for me!) I'm not just talking about your nice things; I'm talking about everything. 

Maybe you are unhappy about your car, computer, friend, husband/wife, shoes, or house. Wishing those things or people were something other than what they are is not going to make your life better. In order to become happier, you must appreciate what you have right now, at this moment in time. 

If it is hard for you to get into the thankful mood, try this activity:

• Today, write down all the good things about your car, computer, etc. 
• Tomorrow, write down the things you like from the day before and add 1 more
• The next day write down the list from the day before and add another
• Keep going until you feel like you really appreciate that person or item

Do this and I guarantee you will feel grateful, and in turn happier.

Another way to practice gratitude is to say these two words: “THANK YOU”. Saying them as much as possible not only shows your appreciation, but it also serves as a reminder to feel thankful. Say (and feel) “THANK YOU” to people for every little thing. If there is nobody there to thank, say it to God, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, or to the universe at large. Thank someone or some higher being for absolutely everything.

If you practice gratitude for everything in your life, you will be happy. This is an absolute truth. There is no way for people to be unhappy if they appreciate the things and people in their lives.