Focus on the Solution Instead of the Problem

Maybe each of us as single individuals can't solve the world peace issue. Obviously, focusing on wars and famines, plagues, terrorism etc, etc isn't solving the problems. If we each just focused on loving, kindness, generosity, and peaceful solutions, we could make a change.

Maybe the hippies had the right idea. The basic theory was sound; ''Make love, not war''. I'm certainly not advocating draft dodging or breaking any laws at all. Neither am I suggesting anyone take up communal living (eewww!) or give up bathing (eewww again). The idea is that instead of thinking about all the crappy things in the world, think of the wondrous things. Instead of focusing on the heartbreak and misery, try thinking of ways to alleviate them.

Donations and giving money to organizations for relief efforts is fine, but I'm talking about something infinitely more valuable: YOUR FEELINGS. Just by changing the way you feel about the bad news and international incidents can change your life.

For example:
You see the commercial with the starving children. Now you feel guilty, maybe even ashamed. You wonder why you were destined for this rich country and so many others were born into horrible circumstances.

You yell at your kids at the dinner table because they don't want to eat their broccoli. ''There are children in (fill in the blank) who would give their right arm for your vegetables!''

Your child retorts, "They can have them for free!''

Maybe the child has the right idea. Instead of feeling guilty over something you didn't create, appreciate the situation you did create. Love the fact that your children are well fed and don't have to worry about shelter, clothing, and pestilence.

There is nothing wrong with appreciation and gratitude; in fact there is everything right with it.

So be thankful for your good fortune. If you really want to help those starving children, focus on a solution. What can you do to help? (And yelling at the kids is neither positive nor a solution.) Find a trustworthy organization and volunteer. Get together with your friends and send care packages. You will find the right solution if you are looking for one in a positive light.

As far as war and terrorism goes, don't advocate it by devouring news coverage about it. Don't validate evil doings by giving it free word-of-mouth advertising. Focus on loving your neighbors, appreciating your community, and adoring your family. Being angry about it is not going to solve it. Will spiteful and  hateful statements bring joy to your children or grandchildren at the holidays? Will ill feelings brighten your day?

No.

However, kind and loving statements will bring joy to everyone. (and not just on the holidays!) Good feelings will brighten your day, and brighten the day for everyone you meet. Good feelings are contagious, and are spread quickly through smiles.

Love

Comic artist Bo Burnham said in a song that, "Love is your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner". He was talking about romantic love; I am going to include all forms of love in that statement. Mr. Burnham meant that statement as a joke, but I think he was right on the money.

Think of the food that you absolutely love. This is the food that you sneak out of bed in the middle of the night to snack on. This is what you treat yourself to for breakfast as a reward. A special dinner for your birthday. People make this when they know you are coming over for a visit.

Now imagine having this food for every meal. Your entire menu is just this food. It wouldn't be your favorite for long would it? Maybe for a week you would just love, love, love it. After a few weeks it might still be good, but not what your favorite should feel like. Then after a month or two, you tolerate it. Finally, well within a year you may come to loathe this "favorite food".

But wait - when it isn't your favorite anymore that means your favorite changed. Hmmm.......

Even without this experiment your favorites change. Just like your loved ones change. Let's talk about children. You don't stop loving your children, but as they change you love the new people that they are. You don't get tired of your children and stop loving them. (I know we all get tired when parenting, but it doesn't mean we are tired of our kids.)

The same thing applies to our spouses, life-partners, siblings, and friends. No one is exactly the same as they were 5 years ago. One year ago? Nope, not the same. 6 months ago? Sorry, still different. People will change constantly. Some changes are small and some greater, but everyone changes.

So, thank you Mr. Bo Burnham. I think I will be ordering that favorite for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the rest of my existence.