Love

Comic artist Bo Burnham said in a song that, "Love is your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner". He was talking about romantic love; I am going to include all forms of love in that statement. Mr. Burnham meant that statement as a joke, but I think he was right on the money.

Think of the food that you absolutely love. This is the food that you sneak out of bed in the middle of the night to snack on. This is what you treat yourself to for breakfast as a reward. A special dinner for your birthday. People make this when they know you are coming over for a visit.

Now imagine having this food for every meal. Your entire menu is just this food. It wouldn't be your favorite for long would it? Maybe for a week you would just love, love, love it. After a few weeks it might still be good, but not what your favorite should feel like. Then after a month or two, you tolerate it. Finally, well within a year you may come to loathe this "favorite food".

But wait - when it isn't your favorite anymore that means your favorite changed. Hmmm.......

Even without this experiment your favorites change. Just like your loved ones change. Let's talk about children. You don't stop loving your children, but as they change you love the new people that they are. You don't get tired of your children and stop loving them. (I know we all get tired when parenting, but it doesn't mean we are tired of our kids.)

The same thing applies to our spouses, life-partners, siblings, and friends. No one is exactly the same as they were 5 years ago. One year ago? Nope, not the same. 6 months ago? Sorry, still different. People will change constantly. Some changes are small and some greater, but everyone changes.

So, thank you Mr. Bo Burnham. I think I will be ordering that favorite for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the rest of my existence.

You Are What You Think

Morris Goodman said, ''Man becomes what he thinks about.'' This was a guy that had his spinal cord crushed. He couldn't walk, talk, eat, or even breathe!  The doctors said he would ever do anything except blink his eyes.

Mr. Goodman thought otherwise. He decided that he would breathe on his own. So he did. He walked out of the hospital on his own two feet. The doctors could not explain it. Morris Goodman is called The Miracle Man, but he made his own miracle.

This might seem like an extreme example of mind over matter, but it makes me believe that I can change the little things in my own life. I can decide that I can eat avocados and stay away from the potty. That soap doesn't make me itchy. I am alert and in a fabulous mood even though I didn't sleep well.

If you say you are not as smart as other people, then you deliberately limit your own intelligence. If you think you can't learn how to play guitar, then you can't. If you tell someone that you are too old to learn how to use a computer, then you made yourself too old.

We each decide for ourselves what we can do. Societal norms should not dictate your memory capacity. Just because your age group thinks they are getting ''old and forgetful'', does that mean you are? Sounds a little like mass hysteria. It's funny that cultures that revere and respect their elderly population don't fall prey to standardized american ageing syndromes. I'm just saying . . . . .

We can say the following to ourselves: I can break bad habits. I can create good habits. I can become a good driver. I can create beautiful works of art. I can be thin and beautiful. I can be fat and beautiful. I can be as energetic as a child. I can do anything because I think I can!

So I have decided that I am a morning person. I will not get ''old''. Whatever amount of sleep I got was apparently all my body needed. I am as smart as anyone else. I may not enjoy doing some things, but I am capable of success in anything. And I am wealthy beyond measure. I'm just saying . . . . .

Positive Thinking

The person who looks at the positive side of a situation is happier. This isn't an opinion - IT IS A FACT.

If you want to be happier, try ignoring the negative aspects of things. I'm not saying that you have to put on rose colored glasses and pretend everything is perfect. But ask yourself this, "What benefit am I gaining by focusing on the bad, negative and/or evil side of this?" Really, what good is it doing you? Are you getting richer? Is your health improving? Is it making you younger? Do people like you more because of it? Is is solving any problem? Does it make you smarter? Are you more emotionally stable by negative thoughts? Does it bring your dog back? The answer to these is NO NO NO!

Actually, it is much worse than no. Your dog has still run off and hasn't come back. The stress of negativity affects your health, makes you feel unwell. Negative thinking stops your mind from exploring other ideas and certainly stunts growth of intelligence. Feeling negative makes you grouchy and other people don't enjoy the company of a grump. It could even affect your job performance; your negative attitude could be the reason your don't get that raise.

Now ask yourself this, "What benefit could I get from looking at the positive aspects of this?" By focusing on the good parts of a situation, you open yourself up to emotional and intellectual growth. There are unpleasant things in life, but if you look for good you will learn from your mistakes.

You will not be inhibiting your emotional growth; you wont beat yourself up over something that can't be undone. Looking at the positive side makes you receptive to ideas and thoughts that will solve your problem. By decreasing the stress in your life, you decrease the stress on your body. Decreased stress on your body makes you healthier and BONUS you will have less wrinkles and look younger! Feeling good makes you friendly and approachable, people want to be around you. I'd even bet they will help you find your dog!

Check out this bit of trivia, which just happens to reinforce my point. I Googled synonyms for positive and came up with this list:

     ~ beneficial
     ~ helpful
     ~ affirmative
     ~ constructive
     ~ effective
     ~ good
     ~ practical
     ~ productive
     ~ reasonable
     ~ useful
     ~ realistic
     ~ favorable
     ~ propitious


I also found antonyms for positive:
     ~ negative
     ~ disadvantageous
     ~ unhelpful
     ~ counteractive
     ~ antagonistic
     ~ perverse
     ~ injurious
     ~ discouraging
     ~ bad
     ~ weak
     ~ gloomy
     ~ pessimistic
     ~ damaging


Now then, which list do you want to be associated with?

Don't Punish Yourself

Don't punish yourself. You might think I am talking about the subconscious desire to sabotage ourselves, and that is something that a lot of us do. What I am referring to is the times you think you are hurting someone else with your thoughts, words, and deeds.

When someone does something that makes you angry or hurts your feelings what do you do? Do you think angry thoughts? Do you say mean things about that person? Do you hide the sugar and creamer in the break-room so they can't have any? Does any of this honestly make you feel better? Or does it just add fuel to your negative feeling?

The small amount of “punishment” we so freely dole out does more harm to ourselves than to anyone else. Being angry at that person doesn't really hurt them. After a while they simply accept that someone is mad, and move on. Whereas, the angry person is stewing in bitter resentment. That anger will act like an acid, eating away at a person's emotional health.

If you are upset and are angry at someone or just angry in general, don't act out on it. The only one who truly gets punished is YOU. Even if you are making someone else feel bad for a moment, it is nothing compared to the emotional flogging you are going through. Add to that the collateral damage of others who see and experience your behavior. This will cause other people to see only someone who is:

       ~ Constantly complaining

       ~  Petty

       ~ Hostile

       ~ Obstinate

       ~ Rude & inconsiderate

       ~ Catty

       ~ Bad-tempered

       ~ Unpleasant

       ~ Irrational

       ~ Antagonistic

Who would want to be around a grouchy, crabby, angry person? Do you think they are going to sympathize with the person who is stomping and/or throwing things, or verbally abusing someone? When we act in this manner, nobody cares to see both sides. Humans instinctively sympathize with the underdog; more often than not, no one will even listen to what you are trying to say. All that will be heard is anger and resentment.

Let's say that someone is really a mean, ill-tempered person. Now, this person spends a lot of time trying to make others feel bad. When they attack you, your anger and upset feeling is exactly what they are after. Not only are you rewarding the meanie with control of your life, you are adding a huge bonus by continuing to do their work for them. Bad feelings don't get better by adding more bad feeling to them.

There is a great way to handle these problems, without punishing yourself. Be happy! Don't allow them the control over your emotions and feelings. Don't continue to punish yourself. Let go of the petty anger and grudges. This is exactly what the meanie doesn't want. If you don't feel happy, fake it! This way you will trick yourself into actually feeling better.

When you don't get upset and stressed out by the actions of others, you are a much more pleasant person. This will make others want to be around you. They will not want to be around the spiteful members of your community. In this manner, you are not punishing yourself and the mean-spirited person (or people) are punishing only themselves.

All you have to do is BE HAPPY!

Gratitude

Gratitude is the number one factor in happiness. If a person runs around feeling ungrateful, thinking about how much and what they don't have..............*sigh*  That doesn't make for a joyful existence now, does it? I don't think so either. 

If, on the other hand, you spent more time appreciating what you already have you would be genuinely happy. (I know it works for me!) I'm not just talking about your nice things; I'm talking about everything. 

Maybe you are unhappy about your car, computer, friend, husband/wife, shoes, or house. Wishing those things or people were something other than what they are is not going to make your life better. In order to become happier, you must appreciate what you have right now, at this moment in time. 

If it is hard for you to get into the thankful mood, try this activity:

• Today, write down all the good things about your car, computer, etc. 
• Tomorrow, write down the things you like from the day before and add 1 more
• The next day write down the list from the day before and add another
• Keep going until you feel like you really appreciate that person or item

Do this and I guarantee you will feel grateful, and in turn happier.

Another way to practice gratitude is to say these two words: “THANK YOU”. Saying them as much as possible not only shows your appreciation, but it also serves as a reminder to feel thankful. Say (and feel) “THANK YOU” to people for every little thing. If there is nobody there to thank, say it to God, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, or to the universe at large. Thank someone or some higher being for absolutely everything.

If you practice gratitude for everything in your life, you will be happy. This is an absolute truth. There is no way for people to be unhappy if they appreciate the things and people in their lives.

The Keys to Success

Most people seem to think that success is the key to happiness. Succeeding in their chosen field, making lots of money, climbing the corporate ladder, or whatever is supposed to make you happy. WRONG! It's actually the reverse. Happiness is the key to success.

Does that idea seem strange to you? I suppose it does to many. Let me explain what I mean. The shortest, most down to earth explanation is this:

• When you are happy, you appreciate people and things more.
  
• The more you appreciate people, the more they want to do for you.
  
• The more you appreciate things, the more people want you to have. They may not give you what you want directly, but they would love to help you get it. (Think about it; do you like giving gifts to people who get excited about them or people who don't seem to like anything anyone gets for them?)
  
• The more people want to help you, the further ahead you get.
  

Sort of like happy networking. It might sound silly and/or simplistic, but nevertheless it is true. I'll give you an example:
Let's say you are climbing the corporate ladder. You are in the running for a promotion against one other person. Both of you are equally qualified and you operate in the same networking circles.

Is the boss going to give the promotion to your surly coworker who does his job well, but seems unhappy and ungrateful? The boss is much more likely to give the position to you because not only do you do your job well, but you do it with a smile. People like you and like to work with you.

Happiness is not the only key to success, but it is the first key. It's not the most important key, but it is the first key. It's not the last key, it's the. .........well, you know what I mean. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be happy. Do it now while there's still time.

Be Happy Now

I was not always happy. In fact, I was quite miserable. I thought everybody was. For some reason I believed that the way to true happiness in the afterlife was to be miserable here. (Not sure where that came from, but I think it was my misinterpretation of Sunday school lessons.) It has taken me 37 years to figure out that it's OK to be happy. As a matter of fact, you are supposed to be happy!

So here I am, relearning all the things that I knew as a toddler:

• Laugh, because it is the most fun you will ever have
• Spontaneously hug the ones you love
• Soft fuzzy things make great friends
• Music is the best thing that happens to your ears
• Enjoy what you are doing, whatever it is
• Do what you enjoy, whatever it is

I am learning a few new things, too:

• No one else is responsible for my happiness, just me
• I am in control of only me; no one else and nothing else
• If I don't respect me, how can I expect anyone else to respect me
• Life is as good as you make it
• Happiness is something you choose, not something that just happens to you
• Smiles benefit everyone, especially the one who is smiling

I will be posting only good, nice, smiley, happy things here. No political commentaries, opinions about the state of the world, or anything about tragedies will be found on my pages. This will be about uplifting myself and anyone else who wants to feel better.